Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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