Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
