I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
