ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
