ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
