Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
