He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
