there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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