My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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