It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
