i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
