Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
