so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Found your dick twin last night
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
