Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
