Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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