considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
