Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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