we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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