Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
