well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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