i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he shaved USA in his pubs
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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