My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
