I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
