i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
