i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
