nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
