she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
