the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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