did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
