i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
