I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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