NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize