But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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