apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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