Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
