Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I believe in your delicious
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
