Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize