I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
