Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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