She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
why do cheetos always look like penises
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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