I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
