just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
