Pass out mid-funnel last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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