I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You ate ashes out of my bong
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize