Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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