I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
