He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
