i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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