then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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