I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
should my penis look like a turkey
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
