jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
