Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
