My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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