Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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