Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
