That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
