is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
