You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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