you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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