Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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