the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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