just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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