She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
